Teach Your Kids How to Make Small, Positive Changes

So how are you doing with those goals you made around New Year’s Eve? Are you sticking with them? Or, like most people, have you already forgotten about those changes? Are you like me, who is still struggling with defining and figuring out how to implement them? Did you know that your kids pay close attention to what you do and how you do it? Mimicry is a tool children will use into adulthood. Why not show them how to make positive changes, ones that will reduce anxiety and pressure when obstacles present themselves?

I have always been a bit of a bull in a china shop when it comes to changes. I am also a person who bites off more than they can chew. People like me are usually called perfectionists. It is taking me a long time to “unlearn” perfection and to just go for the sake of learning itself. I am also a “scheduler,” meaning every moment in time is scheduled. I always have something to do at a particular moment. This is not good for my family, who are much more spontaneous than I am. Of course, there is a happy medium and I am determined to find it. Here are some guiding principles to live by with your children:

§  Life is what happens while you are making plans. Nothing is perfect. Help your kids recover when their routine is thrown off. Most kids need some time of unstructured play and discovery. Every moment does not have to be running from one activity to the next.

§  Life is a balancing act. How do you feel when you put in many hours of work and very little downtime? Teach your kids that there is a time for working and there is time to play. Remind them to take breaks from a long assignment. Many times, walking away for a few minutes can reduce stress related to that subject and help them come back to it more focused.

§  Try new time management techniques that allow for breaks. There are a lot of techniques that can help you and your child keep your focus on happiness while getting the chores done! I like the Pomodoro technique. Task for 25 minutes, play or rest for 5. It takes time to get used to. But it is great for nights home and on the weekends. Plus, I did not realize how unrealistic my goal expectations were until I learned how much could get done in 25 minutes! I have had to learn to break things down into smaller components!

§  Live in the moment. Most stress stems from thinking about tomorrow’s to-do’s or yesterday’s choices. Let it go. It will help your children build resiliency when they come across major life events down the road. Give yourself a break. Let your kids know that even adults make bad choices. The importance is to learn from them!

§  When contemplating big changes, like diet and exercise, start small. We forget this one all the time. We want our families to be healthy and happy. Make small changes that the family can do together and teach them the reason behind these changes and what the big goal really is. We have a country that uses too many chemicals in food and does not allow time for exercise. But start small so that each step sticks!

§  Un-schedule one day a month. Why? Too allow time for family bonding and fun! Do something different! Allowing time to do something different nurtures creativity!